High Conflict

The presence of constant fighting is an understatement with this couple. In fact, there are rarely any issues that do not provide material for their angry and righteous interchanges. No topic is too small, since every disagreement is taken as a personal affront that requires defending or attacking of the other. Thus the divorce situation with its numerous decisions provides a field day for this couple, duplicating the power struggles inherent in their marriage. The high conflict couple tends to make frequent comparisons as to who is the most hurt, unloved, or has the least commitment. These so called imbalances provide enormous fuel for the rage that is so prevalent between them. After all, when you can sustain the belief that you have been the one who has been hurt the most in a relationship, it enables you to feel justified to hurl any insult at the other and perform any outrageous act. When this attitude is brought into the divorce arena, it translates into one huge YOU OWE ME with attorneys and therapists alike added to the chorus.

Very little actual dialogue is experienced from this couple, as they love to talk in monologues with almost no indication of any doubt as to their view of the other. At the point in which either one of them has built up a sufficient case that the other is truly a relationship cripple, divorce becomes the alternative of choice.

Above is reprint from The Coalition for Collaborative Divorce

Assistance

Settlement-Focused Parenting Plan Consultation.
"Sometimes parents going through a divorce have different ideas on what is "The Best Interest of their Children. The Parenting Plan Consultant helps them sort that out......Read More

High Conflict Parenting after Divorce
"Half of all divorcing couples in moderate to high conflict will still be clashing three to four years later. Divorce for these families is not a one-time event, but rather a continuing process" .....Read More

High Conflict Mediation
Sounds like an oxymoron. To some mediators, attorneys and Judges it is. To a skilled mediator that specialize in high conflict families and high conflict disputes, it's not........Read More